


Keep Looking Forward

by otakuwriter



Category: Highschoolstuck - Fandom, Homestuck, Sadstuck - Fandom
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-12
Updated: 2014-12-12
Packaged: 2018-03-01 03:46:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2758394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/otakuwriter/pseuds/otakuwriter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You're name is Dave and you are a girl. </p>
<p>Keep reading if you wanna find out how it ends.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Keep Looking Forward

"Hi, my name is Dave, I happen to be a girl." You sighed regretting coming to this stupid place.   
The people waved at you falsifying smiles wretch at your heart, You were being pushed beyond your limit.  
Less than an hour later you had stormed out of the school's double doors running home in tears. You had enough of people talking about you, lying to you, hurting you. You had thrown the front doors open causing your brothers to jump nearly out of their skins. The oldest your care giver Bro, nearly dropped a katana point down into his shoe. Dirk your older brother almost snapped his shades in half. The two were shocked by the suddenness of your abrupt arrival, considering you weren't' supposed to be home until 3:30 in the afternoon, and it was only 11:20. Your face was red stained with tears. The boys looked at you in total confusion.   
Bro spoke up, he forced his Texan accent to come out thinly, " What's going on Lizzy?" You turned away from Bro getting ready to dash upstairs. You were stopped short of a step by Dirk grabbing your arm and pulling you back into perfect view.

He spoke and he didn't hide any fact that he was a Texan through and through, "Lizzy, Bro asked you somethin' tell us why you're home so damn early." His voice sounded annoyed, as Bro gave Dirk that parental look of 'Don't curse in the house or at least when I'm around.' You tried to run this time slipping out of Dirk's grasp, it was a success. Your boot clad feet thudded loudly on the stairs leading to your room. You had flung yourself into your bedroom the door slamming dreadfully loud, you began to lock it before you heard foot steps they were heavy. You locked your door before going into your own bathroom taking a few things with you, you locked that door as quickly as your fingers would work, as your bathroom lock clicked there was a set of knocks on your bedroom door. "David Elizabeth Strider! Somethin's brotherin' you! And we can tell! We ain't stupid! We care too much to be stupid." Called Dirk trying to force the sound through the doors. "Please Lizzy, Tell us what's going on, we want to help you." Bro spoke up loud enough you could hear. Soon after Bro spoke it became quiet, thoughts began streaking through your mind. 'Should I tell them? Should I show them? Will they be angry? What the do I do?!' Hours later you came out of your room downstairs to greet your big brothers, "I-I'm sorry for coming home so early. I was feeling really bad and people just made it worse." You let a partial truth escape your lips. You play with the seam of your hoodie waiting for them to speak.

"Which people? Do I need to smash some heads together?" Dirk barked loudly. You shrink back into Bro as Dirk shouted. Bro looked at the way you were playing with your sleeve, before he pulled on it signaling you to roll up your sleeve. you shook your head 'no' to him, you were afraid to be yelled at. Bro just looked at you he knew you were hiding something. Dirk pushed you forward into bro. When you felt the impact of your eldest brother's broad chest you were sent into a fit of panic in your mind. 

"I noticed you've been wearing long sleeves lately, and that you've been really angry too. What's the matter Sis?" Bro spoke softly thumbing at your wrist. You know that he's only touching the thin fabric between your scars and Bro's hand. Your body began to quake you knew what he was about to ask, but before Bro could release a single word, Dirk bit at the chance to speak. "What in the absolute hell are you hiding from us Lizzy? You're worrying me and Bro sick." You could hear the sadness in his voice. All you can do is look at Dirk and hope that he has his signature straight face. You looked up at him you noticed through his shades there were tears welling up behind them. "Lizzy, tell us what's going on, please we don't like when you hide things from us, when you know we can help you." Bro stated plainly. Before you had a chance to respond to what Bro had just said, Dirk was holding you closely rolling your sleeves up. You let out a horrified shriek, you never thought that Dirk would do that you only thought Bro would because he's the oldest and needs to take care of your ass most of the time.

You closed your eyes before you know it you're crumpling to the floor, tears blurring your brothers, tears turning your shades into a salted mess. "I-I'm so sorry! I never meant for this to get so out of hand! Never! I wanted to feel pretty, I wanted to be popular." Your body shook in waves, daring to force you to upheave your last meal. You were scared, you never thought your brothers would question why you began wearing long sleeve shirts, you had created a logic for it, it was getting colder and the school's heating was dreadful. They wouldn't believe you. Dirk stroked your hair back. Bro was on the verge of crumpling to the floor with you, but instead you heard him talk to you, "Why did you have to hide this from us? You are pretty, you are the prettiest girl ever known to mankind. You don't need popularity. Popularity makes you petty. And I know those are lies, we want the truth." That last part sounded like a half demand, but it was just worry. 

You shook your head before talking, you hoped that your words were intelligible and sounded human, not like a dying beast. "It all started by accident. I nicked myself showering, I didn't make a big deal out of it, but then bullying happened. It made it worse. I felt like I didn't matter to anyone. I thought that a few cuts would make it better. It turned in to a nearly daily thing. I didn't like keeping this from you. but I didn't want to make you guys worry about me." You hung your head in shame for what you had been hiding. Dirk held you tighter, then he started to hum in your ear softly, "You are our sunshine. Our only sunshine, you make us happy when skies are grey. You'll never know sis how much we love you. Oh please don't take our sweet sunshine away." You forgot what he sounded like. 'How long had it been since he sang to you? How long were you in this blank space of feeling like you don't exist.' You choked out in a multitude of sobs, your body convulsing against Dirk's, you are terrified of how they've been feeling without you in the picture. You never thought of them, you felt as if you were being selfish.

You were so sorry but you can't undo what you created on your body. Bro looked at you and wiped away tears. "are you gonna call some one to take me away to make me better?" your voice quivered. "We aren't going to do that to you, Lizzy, we just want to help you. Can you keep from creating anything new until the new year?" Bro asked. You nodded in response, you were sure as hell going to try to.

Time passed and you were clean for about five months. You were excelling in school but you crashed hard one day. It was a hard enough that your boyfriend noticed you weren't in class. John began to worry about you, you hadn't been in class in three days and you were getting frustrated more easily than ever. He had decided go to your house at the risk of being killed with a katana or a robot. 

He walked to the front door of the building, He knocked. Dirk answered he was in his black wife beater and a pair of jeans. "What do you want John?" Dirk yawned.   
"Your sister, where is she? She hasn't been in class in three days, I'm starting to worry my head off about her." John said trying to keep his voice from crack fear. Dirk looked at him, "Bro isn't here, you know which room she's in knock twice then open the door." This is the best advice he had ever gotten from Dirk. John followed his directions exactly.

You heard the knocks at your door. "Who is it?" Your voice cracked. The was no response, just the sound of the turning knob of your bedroom door. You squeaked when you saw John. "Why're you here?" The syllables jumbled out of your mouth. The next thing you know you feel a tight embrace. "Lizzy, why have you been missing class this week, I haven't seen you since Saturday after our last date, it's been four days, you haven't texted or called me since then. What's going on?" John asked pulling you close. You let out a sigh before speaking, "I slipped up, babe. I slipped up bad." He looked at you with concern before you decided to roll up your sleeves to show him. John gasped at the new slashes at your wrists, he knew you had done it before but he never thought you would start up again. "What triggered it Lizzy?" He asked resting your head on his lap. "People," you respond plainly. "Which people?" he questioned the generalization of your answer. You then looked at him with tear filled eyes before saying, "Bullies, cliques, bitches, teachers, just about everyone in that god-forsaken high school." Your words were almost like bullets. All of them missed your boyfriend though. 

He looked at you and wiped away they tears streaking your face. "Never believe what those people have to say, listen to me, your brothers, and your friends. We care way to damn much about you. We don't need to see you hurting because of another persons actions unrelated to you." You can't help but to nod. You want to apologize for making everyone worry. You hated what you have become and you hated your actions. But a thought struck your mind. "J-John, promise me something." You let the words wisp out of your mouth.   
He looked at you, "What am I promising?" He asked. "I want you to promise to love me as much as our friends and my brothers do until the day we both die and then some." you whispered. The immediate response you were given was a series of nods. You smiled back at him weakly. 

You've been doing better since that incident near the middle of your sophomore year of high school. It's now senior year, you've been slipping up now and again just not as horribly you have found new places to cut, but you have slowed down quite a bit. When you did it, it was only for pressure relief from classes. You had been working hard and decided to take a break. You were sitting alone at your home, you still lived with Dirk and Bro, but you had a new addition, John moved the summer of junior year. He wanted to keep you safe. But today is your lucky day, there is absolutely no one there. You decided with your idle hand to press in a few new places, three to the thigh and two to your neck. You felt a slight rush, but that's the last of your cutting days for a long while. You had showered away the blood that had trickled down, but you forgot the kind of stinging it cause when it was to be washed out. 

You were done now, you just laid in bed waiting for John to get back from his extra circulars. Before you knew it you were in a dead sleep. John had woken you up. "Lizzy? Lizzy wake up, were you doing it again?" he asked. you rubbed your eyes. "Doing what?" You asked sleepily. "Cutting," He responded with a mild annoyance in his tone. "Yes," you responded quickly, "But I promise you, this is the last time. I don't want our kids to grow up and think it's ok to hurt themselves when they don't feel good about them selves or when they need to feel better." You sighed at the end of your statement. He pulled you close and kissed you softly. "Will you promise me that?" He asked in a hushed tone to your ear. "Yes I promise." You smiled at him. 

Three weeks later You and John and the rest of your friends are walking down the catwalk to get your diploma.

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know if I need to fix any spelling errors.   
> and let me know if you like it!   
> ~OtakuWriter


End file.
